5 reasons it’s better to have chimpanzees than children…

  1. You do not get stretch marks acquiring them.
  2. They do not object to being told “go outside and play”…they do not get “bored.”
  3. While they may smear their feces on the wall (as may children) they do not clog the toilet (twice) to the point of overflowing and flooding two (that’s right two) floors.
  4. When their brother is being reprimanded for flooding of bathroom (which a chimpanzee wouldn’t do BTW) they do not call their best friend and hold up the phone so she can listen in.
  5. If they did do any of the above–you could keep them in a cage for a week or at least until your sanity returned.

10 Responsesto “5 reasons it’s better to have chimpanzees than children…”

  1. Laura Drewry says:

    There is no smiley face available that shows how hard I’m laughing. LOL


    Bad day, Lori?

  3. kate r says:

    That is an evil sibling, lettting the friend listen in! Chimps would never be so creative.

    uh oh. You mean we’re not supposed to lock the kids in cages?

  4. LOL!! But they–the kids–are so CUTE when they aren’t driving your crazy, right?

  5. Oops. Glad my copy edits aren’t here yet–that should read “you” crazy. :blush:

  6. (((Lori))) I’m sending you hugs, but you might not appreciate them because I’m laughing so hard you’ll just jiggle, LOL!


  7. Teresa says:


    Chimps also cost less to feed, especially when they are teenagers.

  8. Chimps groom each other, pick off bugs, very essential. If kids did that, just think of the social improvements!

    I dunno, though. When it comes right down to it, I am not a fan of feces on the wall….

  9. Caroline says:

    Heh. I once tape-recorded my little brother throwing a screaming tantrum, just to play it back for him. So #4 strikes me as kind of funny.

    But yeah, no feces on the wall (your kids really did that????)

  10. Lori says:

    Regarding the smearing…the wall, the towels, the shower curtain, toilet paper that is then wound back onto the roll (left for an unsuspecting adult I don’t know BLOW THEIR NOSE ON!!)
    Really, they are precious–aren’t they?